By Anote Ajeluorou
Many are agreed that marriage is a beautiful thing. A cursory look at a young couple about to be wedded tells of the feverish excitement of the union soon to be consummated. But that euphoria doesn’t last for many. Soon, many unpleasant things begin to surface to the extent that some may want out of the relationship contrary to the originator of the union.
A new book, Ready to Find, written by Pastor (Mrs.) Mercy Ilemobayo, is designed to set things right for young people intending to walk the nuptial road was dedicated last Sunday at World Changers International Church, Kirikiri Road, Olodi, Apapa, Lagos. The dedication was presided over by her husband, pastor Ilemobayo, who praised his wife for finding time to write.
While speaking about reasons for the book, which is a sequel to, Fit to be Found, Mrs. Ilemobayo gave the glory “for the wonderful joy of writing this book to bless men and women”, adding that it was her wish for the book to go places so it could achieve the desired impact. In citing the bible injunction that ‘marriage is a honourable thing’, Ilemobayo stated that it was regrettable that “things that happen in marriage negates this and the purpose God set up marriage.
“As a pastor and lawyer, I’ve encountered people and you hear things being said about matrimony, the things they tell courts, that they no longer want the marriage. These are people who have danced before in the house of God, you want to cry. The reasons for heartache in marriage are the things raised in this book. A lot of the men that marry are still boys and they throw in the towel at the first challenge. A man is beyond somebody that has male genitals, but somebody that has the image of God, somebody with a spiritual life to follow the instructions of God, who is submissive to God’s word and ready to live in the image of God.
Ilemobayo said Ready to Find has chapters that deal on such issues as ‘Trust’, ‘The Ready Man’, ‘Do you need a wife’, ‘Preparation’ and ‘Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh’. She said a man must be ready own up to his responsibility, not yield to needless press, lust, paying of bride price, providing for and love for one’s wife. She also said a man should “prepare both emotionally and financially to avoid failure”.
Specifically, the marriage counselor tasked marriageable young people to seriously take to heart the saying, ‘bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh’ saying, “many people marry because of the physical appearance, the beauty and not the spiritual side of the mate. Go for the bone (spiritual) before flesh (physical) because beauty will fail with time; the moral strength is what will keep the marriage”.
Ilemobayo, who has been married for 23 years, said who a person marries determines the children he or she will have, adding, “How you want your children to be should determine who you marry”. Just like it was done in the good old days, Ilemobayo also charged young people intending to marry to investigate who they want to marry in a chapter she calls, ‘Investigate before you invest’, so as to avoid certain pitfalls, saying, “find out the life of the family you want to marry into, the culture of your in-law’s family; investigate physically and spiritually before you marry”.
The final thing a man intending to marry should do, she stated, was consent-seeking, which must include, “Consent of God, self, intending person, parents on both sides, both biological and spiritual without which it would backfire. Get counsel from the laws of the land through a lawyer to interpret the laws”.